Two Minute Hate

1984, a novel by George Orwell, is a tale of lusty, forbidden love trysts under the constant, watchful eye of Big Brother during the time of war with Oceania. It's a sordid story of lusty men in muscle shirts, come-hither women in low-cut overalls and heavy, heavy makeup, and the tearing-down of walls to expose the truth: a bisexual romance so powerful it kills. Jealousy trumps truth as Winston Smith's unrequited male lover scowls upon the seductive and perpetually horny Julia. Will this affair come to an end in a rat-filled cage?
It's hot, hot loving over the warehouse before the ultimate betrayal. But who does it may come as a surprise.

Do you love Big Brother? Or do you love-love Big Brother?

Book Review: The Always Friends Club Hello Jenny!

If you love to hate the popular girl cliques, “Hello Jenny!,” a delectable comedy in which the great junior high club "The Always Friends" face trials and tribulations following the return of a long-lost member. This novel is a sinfully delicious bonbon.

As the story plays out, age-old tricks are played with thirteen year old hijinks. A purloined letter is now a source for jealousy and blind rage. Instead of people hiding behind doors and in closets, we get the transformation of a large abandoned Victorian and a mother's new paramour.

Subplots and subsidiary characters multiply. One of the wittiest subplots involves the exiled Always Friends Club president, Jenny, who can’t believe that her friends are fighting over a trip to Lake Tahoe.

Because its structure and the targets of its commentary — jealousy, greed and dishonesty — hark back to Molière, “Hello, Jenny!” offers a reassuring vision of a fixed social order, bourgeois to the core, in which virtue is rewarded and hubris exposed. For all its cynicism about posters, sleepovers and home renovation, it doesn’t rock any boats.

In between are high-flying birds like Cricket, a free spirit, fending for herself. She may have few illusions, but she still has enough integrity to recognize and respect the decency of her fellow Always Friends in deception.

Book Review: The Winning Team

Of books deploring the quality of junior high political discourse, the most compelling is Girl Talk: The Winning Team.

Sabrina Wells, with curly auburn hair and a bubbly personality, loves magazines, shopping, and talking with her friends. A distinguished liberal thinker, she says with patent insincerity that she thinks Stacey Hansen will follow in her principal father's footsteps as a model junior high leader.

But with as much intellectual honesty and energy as Sabrina can muster (which is a lot), she starts at square one in search of general principles that everyone in seventh grade ought to share, and then moves on to specific policies that her lunch table can argue about.

"It suddenly occurred to me that a presidential campaign was almost the same as putting on a show,” remarks Sabrina, at the beginning stages of her campaign against the formidable incumbent. "And what is really cool about this show is that I have the starring role."

Sabrina faces courageously up to “the new politics of Bradley Junior High” in which sentimental populism, fueled by the fiery speeches of her rival, seems to be owned by the right to blow-drying one's hair exactly the right way...every day. Although Wells clearly regards this as terribly unfair (as do I) and a result of voters’ failure to know their own self-interest, she manages to make her argument for more “quality control” in seventh-grade democracy in ideologically neutral terms.

Wells' campaign and public relations manager, Randy Zak, a New York City native who has just moved to Acorn Falls, is cool with her spiked haircut and her hip New York clothes. Speaking eloquently in mysterious acronyms such as "ASAP", picked up by her rock video producer father, beautifully voices her concerns about the platform of their political rival:

"We have to deal with the issues. We have to let the students know that there are things Sam and I can do for Bradley that Stacey isn't even considering. I mean, just because she gave out free pens doesn't mean she cares about the seventh grade. We can show people that we DO care."

A challenging tale of political scandal; the trials and tribulations of an underdog with a penchant for seltzer water, and the toppling of a dynasty.

Book Review: "Dream Boy"

As readers of the much-praised comedy-of-manners of Jane Austen might guess, "Dream Boy" is poised for classic greatness. In this epic romance, blessed with intellectual curiosity, a sharp wit and a fanciful imagination, Ann Reit seems unlikely to produce anything less than a feat of style.
Gwen Warren, a youthful maiden, spends her days frittering her time watching the ebb and the tide, until she is interrupted one day by the playful shouts of debaucherous teens. One of them, an ethereal Adonis with tawny-coloured locks, captures her heart with a reciprocated smile. Thus begins one of the greatest literary romances ever penned in Western Literature.
Gwen's desire for a relationship conflicts with her own striving and success, self-doubt — inspired by her mother, the furtive ghost of this collection. This is the creative sine qua non she finds missing in the Dream Boy (Jack), whose identity, she judges, depended on the “ruthless suspension” of such anxiety.
The integrity of their blossoming relationship hangs upon Gwen's discovery of Jack's watch on Tessa's wrist, and even more on her disbelief of blossoming jealousy and anxiety.
This is not a novel of deft aperçus. Reit’s characters all have their own distinctly idiosyncratic speech, and it comes in torrents. No one is at a loss for words. Tessa in particular is so full of ideas, opinions and observations that she seems often to choke on them all.
By the end of the book I was wallowing in a state of confusion but also sadness. But looking through its pages again I found one tiny comic gem after another, one pitch-perfect rendering of the modern moment after another. The book is always alive. I felt the odd bittersweetness that occurs when you read fiction that not only confirms your sense of the modern world - but enlarges it.

Ten Little Bigots

The thwarted sequel was purported to have been "Eleven Little Chinks," but, much to the chagrin of the KKK and the Bunker Family, Agatha's reign of racist slurs was thankfully silenced forever.

Depression Hurts.

Book Review: "It's A Girl Thing"

Nonconformist writers are typically knowing and self-regarding, but Beverly Lewis is more of a windowpane than an oddball. Her prose is transparent, her characters lifelike, their problems universal.

Structured like a triptych, "It's A Girl Thing," a story about 15-year-old Holly, is an elegant work. It begins with a very religious high school freshman's acceptance in a choir trip to Washington, DC - which happens to fall on the due date of the birth of her sister, which would require her to relinquish her dreams and babysit her younger siblings. Its central — and much longer — section focuses on her nearly-thwarted romance with a California boy, Sean, a fellow choir singer and devout Christian. The final chapters rejoin the young lovers at the FBI building, and their mutual admiration for both Jesus and good pizza.
One of the strengths of "It's A Girl Thing" is Holly's struggle with her bratty stepbrother Stan, an irresponsible teen who feels raising children is "woman's work," in reflection of Adam's tilling the soil and Eve's tending Cain and Abel. His refusal to take part in helping with the family prevents Holly from fulfilling her dream of being a star on the Washington stage. This is a setting that resonates with the loss felt by Lewis's characters. Deftly interweaving the varying manifestations of grief and absence in these diverse lives, she illuminates the ways people devise — or stumble across — their strategies for maintaining emotional equilibrium. As the plot progresses, the sounding and resounding of loss and consolation becomes increasingly affecting, like the deepening elaboration of a fugue. The sacrifies made for Holly to go to Washington with her choir, to accept a suitable mate through the will of God, and to find love with her devout California lad balance this novel nicely.

Book Review: "Class of '89 Sophomore" by Linda A. Cooney

"Class of '89 Sophomore" is best understood as a franchise follow-up to a very clever dèbut novel. Cooney shows off a great scholarly erudition and turns the 1980s' most celebrated foursome into an elite squad of high school wonder women. Page, who could have any gentleman she desires, lusts unrequitedly after Nick Rhodes. Micki, the overachieving class president, finds herself falling through a downward spiral of unpopularity and misery. Laurel's overbearing father prevents her from achieving her goals and debates whether it is wise to defy him. Bets, a friendly and goodhearted maiden, falls unrequitedly in love with the wrong man.
"Class of '89 Sophomore," with its convoluted plotting and insistence on giving Micki's character a multitasking nature, is entertainingly drawn...but Cooney overworks them to the point of confusion.
A most fitting story to tribute the trials and tribulations of high school existence.

Book Review: "Sorority Girls: I'm Going To Get Your Boyfriend" by Marjorie Sharmat

"An idea was running through my head. A wild, unchallenging, marvelously imprudent and unsound idea. I stared at Danielle Chardson. Watch out, Ms Chardson, I thought. We're in hot competition, you and I. And here's the zinger: I'm going to get your boyfriend."

In spare, minimalist prose, Sharmat weaves a complex tale around a young, well-to-do Arizona woman named Rona Dunne. Dunne, president of her high school sorority, finds herself working for a public-relations company backing corrupt politician Brutus "Captain Concrete" Devile. There she finds a passionate and illicit love for her handsome, sapphire-eyed boss, Salem Astor. Dunne must struggle with her blossoming love for Astor; her franchise aspirations for the most popular sorority at Palm Canyon High School; and political scandal in her town.

During her lengthy term as Chi Kappa president, Dunne establishes a long tradition of loyalty and popularity, but she guards an innermost secret: her public mask hides her true, rebellious streak. With only her English-born maid Rachel as a trusted friend, Dunne must choose between what is morally sound and what could expose her dirty family secret. Is Astor her true love, or is he part of the web of evil surrounding the corrupt politican's public relations?

Though this plot is filled with dark twists as it develops, the plot is not the focus of this unusual "crime noir" mystery. Sharmat instead focuses on the blossoming relationship between Dunne and Astor, and the ensuing love triangle created with Astor's mistress, Danielle Chardson. The tension heats up as Chardson and Dunne clash in the Scream Room during a meeting with the evil Councilman.

Giving new meaning to the adage of writing workshops that a writer should "recreate, not just tell about," Sharmat presents vibrant inner monologue to give her readers a deep understanding of Dunne's moral situation.

One of the most unusual and intelligent mysteries I've read in years, "Sorority Girls: I'm Going To Get Your Boyfriend" is also unique, a novel in which every word counts, even when those words are not adding to the plot.

Book Review: "Kirk Cameron, Dream Guy" by Grace Catalano

Touted as being the "real story of America's #1 Heartthrob," Grace Catalano takes us on an inside journey of the life and wisdom of 'Growing Pains' star Kirk Cameron. We learn of his "twinking hazel eyes, baby-smooth skin, and the overall contour and configuration of his perfectly-shaped, flawless face." (Catalano, p. 2)
Catalano compares his teen-idol status favourably with Elvis, Bobby Sherman, and the Cassidy brothers, but reveals Cameron's 'soft side.' We learn of Cameron's likes (sports, music, science) and dislikes (chores and the Pritikin Diet).

We learn of the trials and tribulations of Kirk Cameron. Cameron, named for Captain Kirk of "Star Trek," had the childhood nickname of "Boo-Boo." He broke his arm skateboarding. On page 29, he reveals he is "shy around girls, especially if he likes them."

At age 14 Kirk Cameron landed the role of a lifetime as Mike Seaver on the hit TV show "Growing Pains." The popularity of the show changed his schedule at home. He could no longer eat dinner with his family every day.

Cameron cares about his fans. His mother started his fan club, where you can buy pillowcases and autographed pictures of the famous actor. He is the Campbell's Soup spokesteen. He is also involved in Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" program. He is opposed to smoking. He also found time for the Juvenile Diabetes Bike-a-Thon sponsored by McDonald's.

When asked what he is really like, Kirk Cameron blushes and says he's just a regular guy. Catalano effectively brings this across in her book, "Kirk Cameron, Dream Guy."

RATING: ****

The Fur Flies: The Untold Story of the Miffy/HelloKitty Rivalry

They were born under the same sign--Sagittarius, a powerful fire sign--and in the same year, although Miffy would later swear: "Hello Kitty is five years older than me, if she's a day."



The London-born Hello Kitty became a star first, which irritated her rival, who suggested that her rapid success came via the casting couch. "It sure as hell beat the litter box," Hello Kitty responded.

"There's a good reason why she doesn't have a mouth," said Miffy. "It's not very nice! "

Miffy was the more amiable of the two, but both shared the same ruthless drive and determination to ride the Crest of Cuteness. When Miffy, the Holland-born bunny who loved teddy bears and seashells, found her fame and adorability waning, she moved to Sunshine Corners, where Hello Kitty was firmly ensconced as Princess of Sweetness. Miffy then proceeded to take over Hello Kitty's clothing styles, her teddy bears, and her throne. Hello Kitty responded by having more interesting adventures.


"I've flown planes, ridden dolphins, and been a tennis star. What has Miffy done with her pathetic life? Go to the zoo? Cuteness is as cuteness does, toots. I'm a real kitten."


"I have an aunt Alice who is a good cook and an uncle who can fly an airplane," retorted Miffy. "They invite friends over to party. We play games!" Miffy added that she has a grandfather who was good at carpentry and a grandmother who was good at knitting.

The stories are such fun—how Hello Kitty "accidentally" kicked Miffy during a Fun Time Reading Hour at the library (requiring stitches); how only Miffy was nominated for a Caldecott Medal but Hello Kitty arranged to claim the award for the absent "Corduroy"…. This real-life friction comes through in the pages of their books and on their ample
merchandise.

Though they have very different temperaments, HelloKitty and Miffy share strikingly similar pasts. Both live in houses with red roofs with chimneys. Both like collecting little stars, little goldfishes, lollipops and as many ribbons as possible (for decoration!). Both also like to go to parks or forests with friends. Both enjoy visiting the candy store, too. They both love candies.

So, if they are so similar and so cute, why does such a bitter strain remain between them?

"I think it is simply a case of familiarity breeds contempt," reflects Snuffy, a courageous female dog with a strong sense of justice (and a longtime friend of Miffy).



Tippy, a loving and kind-hearted bear who is strong, reliable and always there to help you in times of trouble, has been Hello Kitty's longtime unrequited love.

"If only she could open her heart to rainbows and sparkly moonbeams…perhaps the wounds between her and Miffy will someday heal," laments Tippy. "She claims that you can never have too many friends, but why can't that include Miffy? Miffy is my friend. Miffy is everyone's friend."





So many tears, so many harsh words. After all these years, can Hello Kitty and Miffy settle their differences and become a tag team of cuddly love? The outlook is grim, especially after the scandal behind the 1997 Hello Kitty "shoulder massager" debacle in Japan.

There is, however, talk about a Miffy/Hello Kitty reality series, where the two rivals will share a blue house with a chimney and have to learn how to share, but Hello Kitty has yet to negotiate her contract. Rumour has it she fired her longtime agent, Harold (best known for his purple crayon drawings).