Cult Leadership.

And as they mounted the summit, they smiled broadly. Yes, this would be the place. The perfect spot for a polygamous religious cult. They could envision the corrugated metal shacks, the charismatic mind control, the mandatory Bible lessons...God was good!

Intelligent Design.

Pastor Skip and his wife believe everything you need to know about life comes from the Bible. Shall we dip in on what they learn tonight?

"Here's where the blessed miracle of life starts, my children..."Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies."

Satan Is Real.

He's real! He's really real! He's as real as you and me, Brother Louvin! Let's tell everyone how awesome it is in this fire pit, YEAAAAAAH!!!!

Gallery of Angels Creeping Up On Unsuspecting Children.

Nighty-nightmare.

Public Access, Limited

I think I'm going to die laughing.

"Just A Little Remembrance, Pastor..."

"...For that magical evening neither of us will ever soon forget."

Marrying off the love of his life to...to that BEARD! was the most difficult thing Pastor Wilson would ever have to do in his many years of tending the flock. That magical night, indeed...the night they proclaimed their undying love for each other after the Pet Shop Boys concert in the park.

"What have...I done...to deserve this?" he sobbed into his cassock later that evening.

Hellfire and Stolichnaya!

Blog of Revelation.

Jeeez. I was doing Mass all wrong. Normally I'd go in there, sit and listen to the priest for a while, listen to some people read passages from the Bible in a monotone, mumble some stuff I had memorized, sing a couple of songs, eat Jesus and think "bleccch, Jesus tastes an awful lot like Manischewitz and styrofoam!", put some money in a dish, and then sprinkle water on myself. I guess I should have talked to my tutor?

United Nations

Despite their smugness that theirs was the most diverse Little League team in Clifford Falls, the Sluggers were disqualified because of the unfair advantage of the army of God's chosen and their killer curve balls.

Are You A Good Witch? Or A Bad Witch?

I'm not entirely sure if these are good or bad angels depicted here, because these kids look a lot like they're being egged on.

A Glad Tomorrow

...A rather lackluster, semi-depressing Today.

The Electric Kool-Aid Angel Test.

You won't REALLY appreciate this, however, unless you lick this sugarcube first. Go on.

Hail Mary

Father McDougal would soon learn the real power of prayer, thanks to the careening bicycle driven by the drunkard.

Pin-a-Four.

According to the rules of the cult, the youngest members of the Order of the Pinafore took a more orthodox approach to their beliefs, but only in the safety of the Morton Building shelter behind the horse barns.

Your Guardian Angel...

He doesn't want you to know that if you hear statues talking, you might have some problems to check into.

Badassery.

Notice "love" and "obey" are interchangeable in this paragraph.

Falling From Grace

"And up there...UP THERE, CASSIE...that's where I broke the skylight window when I crashed through it. Totally stole it from "Batman." Sure made a hell of an entrance, but the shards of crystal when the chandelier broke...well, let's just say when THAT tinkled I didn't get my permanent wings. Oopsie. Got me quite the reputation with St. Peter, but that scuzzface is such a puss."

Footprints...

..."But can You please explain to me what the hell this giant dog is doing here, staring at me with hunger?"

Suffer, Little Children.

And suffering is the ONLY way to live. No one likes a whiner, Kid With Diptheria. Lie the hell down, look at this crucifix because sufferers don't get to ENJOY LIFE. You have to sit here and listen to your guardian angel's GUILT TRIP!!!!! Put that car down and listen to a story about JESUS who REALLY SUFFERED, HE had NAILS in his hands and COULDN'T BREATHE, and you only have diptheria! SO SUCK IT UP, BECAUSE HE SUFFERED FOR YOUR SINS, AND IT WAS REALLY BAD, AND YOU'RE JUST A PUSSY! A SINNING PUSSY! PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER SUFFER AS MUCH AS OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!

Plane Crazy.