Bonne Année.

Happy New Year from the Mad Vortex! Here's to awkward poses and roses!

Shroom Baby.

WTF is Phone Lady trying to tell me? thought Dougie, picking up the clock with a glassy-eyed stare. Is this a motherf***ing dream or what? I'm laying off the hard shit this year. Enfamil's gonna be the death of me.

Silent Nightmare.

Jesus Use Me.

...And unto us, a little child was born, and almost 2000 years later these formidably-tressed women wanted a serious piece of the action.

File These Under "DUH."

Frosted.

Myrtle admitted he was a little coldhearted and frozen at times, but if his nose was any proper indication of appendage size, she was in good shape.

Pudding.

Mrs. Hamilton grinned as she stabbed the blood pudding with a silver knife. It oozed, the crushed kidneys inside emitting a fetid smell. Christmas was here again. At last.

A Christmas Miracle.

"Oh, Horace. It's lovely."
"I must put the finishing touches on it. It needs....another ball."
"Yes! Another ball!"
"...And then it shall be complete!"
"Yes. Our Christmas dreams will come true."
"I can't believe you fashioned this beauty purely out of earwax and navel lint. It's marvellous."
"I know."

Holly-Daze.

"I'd love for you to come over and rustle up my stockings. Wanna ring my bell?"

Father Christmas

Thank you, Sweden.

Who Killed Christmas?

Who Killed Christmas is a new site started by some friends who like to make fun of Christmas crap. Go check out their site now and spread the holiday cheer!

Harvest Time.

...And they feasted together in harmony: the Pilgrims, the Natives, the Scarecrow, the hippie witch, and the politically-incorrect jungle bunnies of Borneo.

Disco Baybeeeee

Thanks to Suzanne!

Costume Ideas

Charcoal and greasepaint: minstrel show star!
Blonde wig and red arm band: Hitler Youth costume!

Terror Of The Night

"...And on Halloween night, if you don't eat all of your candy, the Autumn Witch will come out of her hiding place and terrify you with her faceless cronies. The Autumn Witch is faceless, a terrible woman, with a merkin for a head."

Cry, The Beloved Country

It's Independence Day, a day when we split from England and became a nation of democracy and high ideals. As you gorge yourselves on hot dogs and beer and pie, sit back and reminisce about our country's proudest moments in its 133-year history. Moments cherished by future generations as examples of what our country really is capable of.

Firecracker.

Nothing says "patriotism" like a pantyhose wreath and some fuzz.

Liberty Bunny

"...Life, liberty, and the pursuit of prey animals."

Social Success At Last!

"And here Gladys shows us how versatile last spring's drapes can truly be! Not only has she refashioned them into a dress perfect for her next garden party, but her pose makes them truly economical. Those pesky freckles will only show up on the backs of her arms, where she can hide them in polite company, and those ample skirts keep her guest's eyes safe from unsightly neighbors! Whether you live nearby a slaughterhouse, an asylum, or a family with loose morals, nothing ruins the fun like a poor view. Practice this gay pose so you, too, can shield your guests from those vulgar views without tiring your arms and while looking like the life of the party!"

Graduatin'

Congratulations to all the people graduating from wherever. Good luck in this tanked economy. Here's a shitty doll for you.