Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Inner Monologue: Woman In Red Dress


I hate these goddamn f***ing parties. Shit, here comes that loudmouth Margot. She can't mind her own f***ing business. Always has to go around telling people gossip and half of it's not even true. At least that one about my husband and his secretary wasn't...poor Herb! I hate you, Margot. I HATE YOU. EAT SHIT! DOG SHIT! What a fat, ugly, stupid bitch....smile...extend hand.....look nice....

"Margot! It's so nice to see you!"
"Hello Carole! I love what you did with this blue ribbon topiary! What a nice touch! You sure have a way with crafty things!"
"Thanks, Margot! I'm trying!"

OH MY GOD! WTF was I thinking when I said that? TRYING? I'm the best f***ing topiary grower in Des Moines! IDIOT! YOU F**KING IDIOT!

"Well, I'm going to go and see what Maude made for the bake sale - nice seeing you, Carole!"

F**K YOU, SKANK!"

"You too, Margot! Say hi to Gerald for me!"

2 comments:

Cink Pleete said...

I can relate to this so much! It is like you have extracted the essence of a typical saturday night for me and boiled it down into a saucy paste of goodness!

Lois said...

Man, that house is disturbingly bland and ugly. Bare white walls, brown curtain hiding what I assume is the room's only window that could let in light, and the only color in the whole place is provided by those awful blue-ribbon topiaries. May the housing gods save me from ever living in such a suburban nightmare.