Burial Site.

"A-yup. This is where ah put 'em. Dead as could be. Funny, you'd think I'd be queasy at the sight of so much Poly-Fil."
"No one blames you, Ricky. When they came to town, the townfolk all said they'd be trouble."
"We all knew the Cabbage Patch bred liars and thieves."

Tickletoes The Wonder Doll.

Squeeze her legs and she cries. She, masochistically, will also squeeze her own legs.

Lapine Tree.

And by "children" we mean "Furries" and "Freakydeakys."

Playtime.

Davy spent countless hours playing with Toy Town and "accidentally discovering" the Marplethorpe Family in various states of imaginary undress and debauchery.

Babes In Toyland.

Never ones to shirk their Constitutional duties, the Apple Blossom Gang decided to up the ante a little and, following the inspiration of Ted Nugent, formed their own sylvan militia. Goosie had a pardon from the leader once she revealed she could be a stool pigeon for the other fowl's whereabouts.

Blimey, Limey

The Changing of the Guard was often a little awkward for handknit Weeble-Wobble Jareth, what with his Red Heart texture and lack of appendages.

Teen Wolf 2

The Tranny Wolfman cometh.

Sea Men.

They were a forgotten race of sea-warriors, cut adrift from civilization in a way only the fear of wayward westerlies and knitting needles knew how.

Bear Essentials.

It was cute, until the parasitic bearcreatures started digesting her feet right off the stumps.

Barbie The Greek.

"Γειά σου Barbie, εσείς είναι όμορφο."
"Ξέρω."
"Θέλω να έρθω σε σεξουαλική επαφή με σας."
"Μπορούμε να κάνουμε αυτού στο σπίτι ονείρου μου."

Fashion Doll

Now Barbie (or a reasonable facsimile) can have her very own crocheted bikini to keep her warm by the fireside in the winter months and even warmer when it hits 95º in the shade.

Pup Patrol

Something wasn't right.

Reign Of Buttercup Sprinkles

Snowed Over.

The Iceman cameth, and when the carpet had dried, he left neither trace behind of the naïve village children nor evidence of their sinister demise.

Pajama Case Clown

...Basket case mom, closet case kid.

The Island of Misfit Toys

Your very own stuffed, deformed Komodo dragon!


The "nuclear reactor meltdown results" crowd: a formidable group of radioactive misfits who are half-plastic, half-crocheted Red Heart Yarn.


The Poncho Villa fashion doll gang, the most nefarious group of thugs in the land!


The Gibson Girl doll with no hands!

Doll In The Family

Wendy was, surprisingly pretty satisfied with Hazel. Daddy should have known, because he got his own lifesized doll, too.

Valley Of The Dolls

Tiny Dancer

"Look, now I know I ain't as fancy as I was in my younger days, before the tracheotomy, an' my dancin' legs aren't what they used to be, and I know it's kinda hard to understand me through this voice box, but believe me, I was once the prettiest ballerina doll in the toy box. Why dontcha come over here and sit on my lap and I'll tell you about my fall from grace."

Oh God You Devil!

The dollhouse became especially fun when Chelsea and Kylie started playing God and began randomly choosing which of the Stuffington family got to succumb to consumption first.