In the Future...

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em.

Mabel knew how to work the stoner crowd really well, having shown up at the party as a working human hookah.

Maxi.

"I never thought I'd find the day where I'd finally find the solution for hiding my hideously rippling cankles."

Holly-Daze.

"I'd love for you to come over and rustle up my stockings. Wanna ring my bell?"

The Vagina Monologue

"It is angry, and like my sweater, somewhat chunky and warm and smelling of lanolin. But, like my shoes and leggings, it can be whimsical, high-fashion. Like my hat, it can be exotic, and it is named Svetlana."

More Crafty Shirts.

Because Tiffani wasn't enough.

Kelly Kapowski, We Hardly Knew Ye.

Yes - it IS Saved By The Bell's Tiffani-Amber Thiessen ( with a Y in those days), modelling 1980s crafty t-shirts with bears and cacti. Thanks to Kristen for finding this blackmailing gem at a local thrift store. I particularly love the Lolita look...

Space Oddity.

"It's not so bad," thought Gloria. "I mean, I guess being trapped in the fifth dimension has its shortcomings, but I don't REALLY need to have a hand, or calves, or feet...not here, anyway. I think a girl could get used to this. Wonder if they're still stuck in that wormhole..."

Urgency.

"I'm waiting for my answer, Julie," whispered Lloyd, urgently. "Have I made you weak in the knees, darling?"

Only partly. The rest of the weakness was coming from her lack of blood circulation from those bloody plus-fours.

WASP-Wasted.

"Well, you only need one kidney ANYWAY, and while I was at it, I thought - hey, what's a missing rib?"

Cloaked In History.

She wore her scimitar-hurling heritage with a nonchalant pride.

Cry Me A River.

No one ever doubted Yolanda's rivers of emotion.

Briefed.

"Do you ever think about getting old, Gary?"
"Sometimes."
"I don't ever want to get to a point in my life where...you know..."
"I do know, Ann...I can't bring myself to wear pants, either."

Respite.

"At last...a quiet place where we can have our NAMBLA meetings in peace, Timmy."

Fences.

"You know, Don, last night I had the weirdest dream about being able to move my own body on my own terms...in my Maidenform bra. Can you shift my right leg over, please?"

Beckoning.

"Why don't you come on over here, fellas, and smell the strategic dabs of My Sin that I put on just for you?"

Sass With Ass.

"You must be this wide to ride my train, fellas."

Bullet Bras.

"Come have tea," they cackled, knowing that a genteel embrace would surely end up in a maiming of some sort.

Snugly.

We just didn't ask any more questions after that episode.

Mysterious.

The last thing she remembered was leaning against a giant marble lion statue with a shit-eating grin on her face, and then the brilliant flash of light emanating from that mysterious glowing orb that appeared out of nowhere. We laughed, of course, because the story was so far-fetched. But we were the losers in the end.