Toothless In Seattle

'This dentist thing is bullshit,' thought Mikey, as he yanked out his left canine with swift dexterity. 'I mean, geez, all I have to do is rot these chompers out of my head with a few daily gallons of Mountain Dew and some pixystix, and I can get it out for like, pennies on the dollar. Screw this x-ray crap. F*** you, insurance. I'm just gonna go down to the hardware store and get me some goddamn pliers.'