Are You There, God? It's Me, Awkward.

"Dear God, are you there? Hi. It's me, Chris. Remember me? I talked to you yesterday. Look, God, I've been doing my bust exercises every day for three hours a day but I haven't sprouted a thing. Tina Easton is already wearing a training bra but NOT ME. I'm starting to get made fun of. I mean, Mom got me high heels and a new organdy dress for the dance, but I just don't...fill it out. Not like Yolanda. Yolanda is like a double D already. Look, God, I don't ask for much - okay, Love's Baby Soft perfume doesn't count (does it?) - but I really really want to have a bust. Like, soon. I know some people have said it was impossible but they just don't understand what it's like to be a teenager anymore. Okay, okay, I know I'm not actually a girl - but you work miracles, right?"