Jack Squat

It couldn't be denied that Lisa had a few problems...The Drink being tops on the list. Most people would understand that downing 3/4ths of a bottle of Jack when you weigh 98 pounds would probably result in alcohol poisoning...and indeed, Lisa had learnt of this during 11th grade health class...but she miraculously weathered the alcoholic storm racing through her bloodstream and sat there, peacefully, with a blanket draped over her head, reciting scenes from The Philadelphia Story in a slurred Katharine Hepburn impression, until she found the sweet oblivion of kneeling before The Porcelain Goddess, friends holding back her hair in disgust and awe.