Flower Shower

Tina was sick - sick and tired of gardening. Every year the frosts destroyed her zinnias, making her the laughingstock of town.
"Tina's green thumb is as red as her face!" the paperboy would shout, as he rode past carting his prize gladioli.
"Tina doesn't know her fertilizer from her pesticide!" laughed Mrs Hetzel, the town busybody.
"Tina's trowel is like the Grim Reaper's scythe!" chuckled Mr Witherspoon, the town undertaker.

The shame! O, the shame! Finally, Tina decided to trick them all. She went to the Ben Franklin store 3 towns over (so she could be sure no one saw her) and bought all the artificial flowers she could find. After sewing them together, she spread the flower carpet over the beds with the dead and dying flora.

"See? I can grow flowers!" said Tina.

The neighbours stared in disbelief. For five full minutes they believed Tina's tale of diatomaceous earth being the manna from fertiliser heaven, slicing the slugs and letting her zinnias bloom in full majesty.

Then "Puddles," the rottweiler next door, decided to "mark his territory" in the newly-sprouted bed.
Tina was busted.