Wednesday, October 11, 2006


The way I see it is, if you're going to learn to crochet, you should ROCK THAT HOOK.
Don't stop at sweaters, tam-o'-shanters and mittens, go all-out APESHIT.
Ugh, that PHONE BOOK. WHAT THE F***. I hate that motherf***ing phone book. I'm going to hide it in a PHONE BOOK SWEATER. TV Guide? Bitch, please. I hate that logo. I'm going to hide it in a TV GUIDE SWEATER.

OH MY GOD, I HATE MY TOILET. Porcelain is so UGLY. I hate porcelain. I'm going to hide my toilet in a TOILET SWEATER. No, I don't care if you splash, it's MACHINE WASHABLE. Why are you LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? No, I'm not putting down the motherf***ing hook! GET BACK! I'm-a crochet you in a corner, bitch!


Tits McGee said...

My great-grandmother had a crochéd toilet seat cover, and a pink, padded toilet seat. As a child, I found this magical.

She also had a doll with a crochéd skirt that sat on top of the spare toilet paper roll on the top of the toilet tank.

She also cussed like a sailor and drank a lot of beer.

Lois said...

Oh, this is a great idea! My mom taught me to crochet, and although I'm not very good at it, I'm pretty sure I could crochet sweaters for my computer, my radio, all the doorknobs in my apartment, the microwave oven and--dare I aspire to such greatness?--EVEN THE REFRIGERATOR. Beat THAT, bitches!