Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Fed Up


Hazel was mad.
Real mad.
Hoppin' mad.
And when she got mad, she got even.
Even with a box cutter and a sawed-off shotgun.

Even if it just meant someone ate the rest of her Lunchables™ at the office.

Sure, the refrigerator was technically "public," but Hester hated ANYONE touching her food. ANYONE. That bologna was destined for HER mouth, not Fred in down in Accounts. Not Valerie in Middle Management.

They would pay when she found out.

Dearly.

3 comments:

Anita said...

Some weasely fucker stole my lunch (a frozen burrito) a few weeks ago. I prayed to God and promised that if he let me discover who did it and shoot said person with a sawed-off shotgun I would never sin again.

Since God refused to reveal the perpetrator, I have been spreading malicious rumors about all 3 of the suspects. I've also considered wrapping one of my turds, burrito-style and leaving it in the freezer in case they strike again. Don't judge me - God's the one who won't cooperate!

Kat said...

You get em Hazel. I got yer back!

Anonymous said...

The cake with the exlax icing. Hahahahahahahaha. The shitter could not deny he or she was the thief.

The brown stain on the back of the trousers would tell the truth as they went home "sick" Hhahahahahahahaha!