My Bling Bling Barbie Head

Yes, the 21st-century version of the United States does indeed have a problem with self-absorpancy and greed, but where does it all begin?

This Barbie head is a good start...not only is it really disturbing to have a disembodied head as a toy, but a disembodied head teaching little girls the value of wheedling bling-bling from someone is downright frightening. Almost as frightening as the McDonald's-licensed cash register toy that teaches your kids how to eventually work for McDonald's.

True story: I didn't have many dolls as a kid. In fact, they scared me. This is probably because my great-grandmother, who was a bling-bling chaser from way back, like the 1930s, was a doll collector. Visiting her usually involved being completely freaked out by her dolls, who all sat in a blank-stared row on this old Victorian sofa in front of her TV. Seeing this kind of thing only brings back those creepy memories, but thank the good lord I got a mom who knows the value of turning my only Barbie doll into Punk Barbie, circa 1984. Yes, my mom and I cut off all my Barbie's hair, stuck a safety pin through her head, and drew scars all over her. That, readers, is the healthy thing to do with your little girls, not encourage them to be whiny little self-centered princess bitches who see the losers on "My Super Sweet 16" as role models.

Thanks to Miss EmVal. for having the sense to photograph, even though she doesn't yet know that I lifted it from her Flickr site.