Sunday, June 18, 2006

Because The Pool Is So Cold

"Soooo, liiiike? I get really cold in the pool, so I just thought I'd combine the warmth of a cardigan with the sexiness of a bikini? Can someone get me the sunscreen? I like SPF 300. No, asshole, I said 300! What is WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Hey girl, I totally hear you. But because I've been eating the Karen Carpenter ipecac diet, I'm like alway cold! Isn't that weird? I got my aunt Hilda to knit me a pool sweater, so like when I'm doing the high dive I can keep warm. I'm down to 87 pounds now but like, I feel so fat, I hate myself so much I'm going to just wear this giant hat so no one can see how ugly and FAT I am and think "There's that FAT GIRL. Does my pelvis look bony enough?"

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