Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Kitchen-Aid Sausage Stuffer: A Mini-Mystery

Ellen Griffith was a loving wife, a devoted mother, the church secretary, PTA president and Betty Crocker Baking Award Recipient of 1958. One day, Ellen's husband George mysteriously disappeared.
The police chief of Maple Acres (their hometown, pop. 3202) puzzled over the remaining clues behind George's disappearance. There was the lipstick ("Cherry Tornado," perhaps?) on his collar, the lingering smell of Estée Lauder Youth Dew and gunpowder on his blazer, and that phone number in the beautiful handwriting.
All circumstantial evidence - after all, George never went away on "business trips," and the only bar in town didn't have "those kind of people." No, George politely ran the local shoe store with his loyal and buxom clerkgirl, Gladys.

The police never found George's body, but after 6 months the coroner declared him officially dead.

George's memorial service was beautiful and emotional. Gladys gave the eulogy in a clingy red gown and veil, and Ellen found wealth from George's life insurance - and not long afterward, a new boyfriend named Glenn.

Some months later, the police chief reflected fondly upon the delicious sausage Ellen had made herself especially for George's memorial, and wondered what her secret ingredient was.

1 comment:

M. Edwards C. said...

LOLOLOL get a load of that dog.