Gallery of Hideous Living Rooms.

When you really enjoy that feeling of claustrophobia...


The Logan's Run living room only works if you're under thirty years old.


The living room that Freud would never be able to decipher...


The sofa that hides the kind of stains with which you don't want to have contact.


The kind of living room someone mentally ill would create in an interior decorating class.

Avoid The Pad Vortex: Bathroom.

I can't make up my mind what the expression on that lady's face means: is it embarrassment that the photographer caught her naked? Or caught her in this hideous f***ing bathroom?

Avoid The Pad Vortex: Key To Happiness

"...Hmmm...I need a place where I can keep track of all my keys: there's the one to the garage...the back shed...the sex dungeon...the summer kitchen...I'll just make sure they're safe...Giraffe can make sure of that!"

Avoid The Pad Vortex: You Light Up My Life

Suddenly, the bust of Aphrodite had an idea.

Avoid The Pad Vortex: Bathroom of Doom!

The nice thing to know is, if I'm feeling nauseous and am only coming up with dry heaves, the optical illusions of this bathroom, plus the confusion wrapped around finding the mysterious flushing mechanism of the toilet, will induce the relief my esophagus and stomach so desperately crave.

Ruffles Have R-r-r-idges.

Avoid The Pad Vortex: Kaleidoscope Kitchen!

(Color Blindness Challenge: Find the fondue pot!)

Avoid The Pad Vortex: Lying Like A Rug.

Puppeteered.

It didn't take long for Katy to realize that the puppets were only part of Mrs. Teasdale's evil plan to lure her into slavery. Hooked rug slavery.

Cup-Bored.

They were just two wild and crazy kids, crazy for cabinetry.
"We need things to put in the cabinets," said Sandra chipperly, as she stacked a cupboard on top of the shelves.
"How about more cabinets?" suggested Craig.
"Ooh," she murmured thoughtfully. "That's so crazy it just might work."
"I'm in a meta state of mind today," replied Craig.

I Love Lamp

Because what better way is there to spruce up a home, than to create a lamp out of basketry or fake flowers? Both are highly flammable - perfect for those high-watt bulbs! And both are sure to make you want to break out the Wellbutrin. Behold!



Its many cousins can now be found in the dumpster behind the local Goodwill.



Who sat down one day and said to themselves, "I'd really love to have a large basket containing a hot light bulb hovering over my head!"?



Who knew depression could come in lamp form?



"And this is where we keep Great-Uncle Roger's ashes...clever, isn't it?"



"The bouquet residence, the lady of the house speaking..."




Tweet, tweet.

Avoid The Pad Vortex: Uncomfortable Sofas

I give you gentle readers a gallery of really uncomfortable-looking furniture!!

The "What Horrors Lie Beneath The Dust Ruffle??" sofa!

The "What Is That Scary Heavy Thing Above Me? And Why Can't I Lay Down?" sofa!

The "I Really Like Pepto Bismol" sofa!

The "I Whacked My Head On The Shelf Behind Me" sofa!

The "Where Does My Tailbone Fit?" sofa!


The Golden Goose sofa!

Avoid The Pad Vortex: Don't Sit On The Rug.

Here's a whole collection of people avoiding the act of sitting upon hooked rugs!


"Hush, child. Do not paint on my precious rug. You will soil it."


Reading tabloids is not kosher in the mind's eye of the Rose Rug.


"I must not let my body touch my precious pansy rug!"


"God forbid I get bookworms on my delicate fall carpet!"


"Darling...what do you think caused that stain?"

Avoid The Pad Vortex: Ribbon Chairs

"Hey, welcome to my pad. I trust you'll be welcome here. Feel free to sit on my wilting ribbon chairs. I just imported them from some small equatorial island, where life's footloose, fancy-free, and little effort needs to be put forth. Whoa there, need to get your sea legs?"

Gallery of Regrettable Bedspreads

Avoid The Pad Vortex: Living Rooms of Death

The living room that makes you both fond of Pepto-Bismol and gives you a reminder to swiftly down some.


The sinister Walking Chair that Doctor Who had to battle when it scurried away with his TARDIS and then attacked a primitive people in their mining tank.


The living room that made you question the rotation of the Earth's axis.


The living room with the itchy, hot chair your grandmother made you sit really still in while she watched episodes of "Lawrence Welk" and gave you tepid Tang while she guzzled Pabst by the case.

Gallery of Questionable Bachelor Pads

"After a game of live chess, I like to get a little freaky on the sofa."


"I hear you're into voyeurism. Do you like the feeling of being watched? 'Cause the CBS Eye is watching you."


"Welcome to my grotto, how do you like your caveman?"


"Welcome to my grotto...in outer space. Yes, I admit it...I'm a Trekkie."


"I'd like to see what you look like in leather. RED. Leather. Don't fight it, baby, you know you like it kinky."


"Did you know the ancients once held orgies in honour of Apollo the sun god?"


"And as you can see from my rug, I like to wrestle for the kill...in the bedroom and in the bear pen."