Saturday, September 13, 2008

Symptoms of Hysteria In 1905

"This world seems so dreary, of life I am weary, my poor heart is throbbing in anguish and woe
Tho' I've seen 19 summers and hate to admit it, I never yet have had a sweetheart or beau.
Yet I fondly have smil'd on the dearest of boys,
Have done all that a modest girl should,
But they don't seem to know that if I had a beau, I would treat him as nice as I could.
I would like to have someone to love me, I'd like to know how it would feel -
To lovingly rest my head on his breast, would I tremble if kisses he'd steal?
Oh I don't know, it's likely I might, but sure if I did it would not be with fright,
You see it would be such a pleasure to me,
'Twould fill me with thrilling delight.
Of course I've some pets and they love me quite dearly:
A dog, a canary, and a sweet little cat.
But maidens like me will find small satisfaction
Returning affections to creatures like that.
The canary can't kiss and the dog has no arms,
Nor can he sing swet love's refrain,
If I'd sit on the cat, it would smash her out flat
So my feelings I have to restrain."


StripeyUnderpants said...

Yeah, well, a dog will never let you down, and a cat can't betray you, leave you broken and empty and discarded LIKE A PAIR OF WORN-OUT, UNWANTED SHOES, TOSSED ASIDE AND LEFT TO ROT IN THE ROADSIDE DITCH OF LIFE, NOW CAN IT?? CAN IT???

Scary Fairy said...

I would love to know the music for this song as I sing in Music Hall and have never come across this one before!