Blind Date: Allen

Allen is a lecturer on William Blake at the local community college. He'll regale you with tales of his quest for fine cheeses and port wines as he daintily picks cat hair off of his sweater vest. You see, Allen loves his cat, almost as much as he loves talking about his new passion for composting and learning how to speak Swahili. Of course, you have to look past Allen's most horrifying fault: the fact that his larynx was crushed at an early age and he speaks like a guinea pig. Oh, and he does questionable things in his pocket that are better left unnoticed.