Olan Mills On The Floss

Times had been hard since Papa left Momma for his secretary. The Yardley girls were steel magnolias since those dark days. Momma worked hard at the car dealership. On Sundays they went to marathon church sermons at Holy Redeemer Pentecostal Church, where the girls learnt the ancient art of speaking in tongues. Pastor Ed took a fancy to Momma (he had a thing for big hair) and Momma thought about his marriage offer when the Olan Mills Man came to photograph the congregation. Since their father took off Momma was concerned that her girls would be subjected to things like boobs and women in their underwear and evildoing men...thank god Pastor Ed was a strong man. A man who kept snakes in cages. A man who would make damn sure her girls would be shielded forever from the sins of the world.

Martha, her 'trouble child,' stood defiantly in the back. In three years, Martha would be pregnant and Momma's world would once again be destroyed. Nothing a fatal snakebite wouldn't cure.