Blind Date

"Hey. I'm Todd. How's it going? So, you like sports? I do too. Indoor. Wait, that came out wrong. Well, it doesn't matter. What do you want to do on our date? I made reservations at this Lebanese joint downtown. Oh, you don't like Lebanese food? That's too bad, baby. I love it. You're a vegan? What the hell's wrong with you? Jesus, I can't stand...never mind, I won't judge you, baby. What do you think of my sweater? Made it myself. I learned how to crochet in college. I was president of Bitch N' Stitch. Shall we?"