"Well son, I know I've told you never to ask me about my work in the past, but I guess you're old enough now. You're what, four, right? Five? Twelve? Anyway, what they don't teach you in school is that the Russians aren't our only problem. We've been having a covert war with the Canucks for over 14 years. This is British Columbia, where they stockpile atomic satellites and eat babies. And Daddy's job is to protect you, Mommy, and the other godfearing Americans from those maple syrup-chugging hockey players."
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