Para-Solvent.

God, Alex Chan was such an asshole.
I mean, come on. Who is THAT PARANOID OF THE SUN that he CONSTANTLY NEEDS SOME SLAVE TO FOLLOW HIM AROUND WITH A PARASOL. Has he NOT heard of Coppertone? Panama Jack? Aveeno? The entire spectrum of SPF numbers, blocking out those UV rays with a passion greater than paper on a stick?
Oh no. Because Alex liked the power. The glory. The knowledge that he was making someone else's life miserable by following him around with that goddamn parasol. Who did he think he was, anyway? I mean, sure, having the most successful Dot Com upstart in the late 90s left him a multibillionaire and everything, but jesus, what was with his insistence on the cooley costumes? Absurd. Absurd as that tiki Zen garden in the pool area. Absurd as the pet psychic for his lizard. Where did these people come from, anyway?
Looneyville.
And it was too bad he needed the money for UCLA that badly.