Blinded By The Light

"Aunt Judy....I'm having a hard time seeing where the scissors are going."
"That's because your eyes no longer work, Sally. And why is that?"
"Because I was running with them and gouged them out?"
"That's right, Sally. So your punishment is to cut with them PROPERLY. FOR ALL ETERNITY. Neatness counts, Sally."
"But I thought being blinded for life was punishment enough?"
"SHUT UP AND FINISH MAKING THE PARTY HAT, SALLY. The Tupperware™ people will be here any minute and there MUST BE A FESTIVE ATMOSPHERE. You aren't helping."