Monday, October 23, 2006

The Spirit of the Czar Lives On.


Yes, after that execution shooting and subsequent burning of his corpse, one wonders, don't they? And yet, despite the Bolshevik revolution and rise and fall of Communism, and the starving people of the Russian empire and that whole Yakov Smirnoff sensation in the mid-80s, we remember what truly made Russia once such a great nation:
Magic tricks.
Feats of strength.
Sucking down vodka like no tomorrow.
Okay, wait, 120 years ago? Never mind, wrong Czar. When was this advert made? I'm guessing late sixties, which means they're talking about the 1840s. Who was Czar then? Nicholas the FIRST, a battle-crazy autocrat who hated Catholics and tried taking over the Ottoman empire - who took Russia into the Crimean War, which, incidentally, led to his own demise. In the meantime, his political practices set forth the ticking time bomb by inspiring the revolutionary and intellectual movement by the likes of Pushkin and Gogol who in turn inspired a political revolution which would take place sixty years later, after years of oppression and autocracy.

Yeah, I don't see anything about no jive wolfhounds or vodka.
WTF.
Ohhhh...NEVER MIND. I get it. I bet this was made when Dr. Zhivago came out. How much you wanna bet? So while you come off that epic with that swoopy Lara's Theme spinning in your head you think to yourself, "geez, I'm thirsty. But I want something with a kick. Something....Russian. Like Dr. Zhivago!! Even though that Dr. Zhivago was Egyptian, but whatever." So you pick up your Esquire and you're like whoa, a Czar! HOTT! And he's having fun with that chick. I totally want a piece of that. And I want a f***ing wolfhound like that too, YEAH!

..........okay. Sorry. I got carried away.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

After reading this... I need a drink.

Anonymous said...

This booze is mine... BETCH. Maybe the dog will give you some of his.

Lois said...

Good grief, that's a czar?? I thought at first the woman was gettin' her groove on with Jesus Christ! O_o

Anonymous said...

....and Jesus turned the wine into vodka! Then the party really took off.