Monday, October 30, 2006

SPAM Files: "Guadalupe Hollingsworth"

Sometimes I get spams that defy all course of human logic. Here is one that was written by one "Guadalupe Hollingsworth," advertising somewhere in the middle some fly-by-night investment company. Through all of its delusional Mad-Lib nonsense, a flicker of poetry can be detected:

"Most people believe that a grain of sand defined by the power drill laughs and drinks all night with a nearest freight train, but they need to remember how accurately another spartan reactor procrastinates. If a parking lot carelessly requires assistance from the feline bottle of beer, then a defendant around a minivan daydreams. A jersey cow about a corporation is resplendent. Any parking lot can secretly admire a photon inside the fundraiser, but it takes a real class action suit to derive perverse satisfaction from the annoying paper napkin.
A defendant beyond another grain of sand is worldly. The mitochondrial power drill wisely competes with the usually highly paid globule. The skyscraper of the bartender flies into a rage, because a precise girl scout throws a phony chestnut at a spider.

Indeed, a girl scout near the recliner laughs and drinks all night with the girl scout related to a fairy. An unstable nation.

A diskette non-chalantly learns a hard lesson from a polar bear from an ocean. The cantankerous pickup truck learns a hard lesson from some CEO near the tape recorder. When a hockey player is geosynchronous, the photon goes deep sea fishing with the precise blithe spirit. A psychotic wheelbarrow makes love to a pickup truck.

When the pathetic grand piano is feline, the tornado overwhelmingly makes love to the crank case of some traffic light.Most people believe that the cheese wheel satiates an abstraction living with a senator, but they need to remember how carelessly the fat scythe returns home. If the carpet tack living with an earring negotiates a prenuptial agreement with the bowling ball, then a tripod for a tape recorder ceases to exist. A parking lot avoids contact with a flabby girl scout. When a submarine for the fighter pilot is knowingly Alaskan, a vacuum cleaner pees on a football team for some mating ritual. If a statesmanlike briar patch underhandedly avoids contact with the dolphin, then the proverbial dolphin reads a magazine.

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