Tuesday, September 05, 2006

UK Community Alert: Hell

To our loyal UK readers, we'd like to bring your attention to a website of critical importance. With all the government focus on identifying potential terrorists, covert agencies have redirected much of their attention away from supernatural dangers. People of all free nations are all at risk!

Thankfully, citizens of the UK have stepped into the gap. In the tradition of Chicago Crime and Megan's Law, UK citizens have begun a public record of Entrances To Hell. I cannot overemphasize the importance of this grassroots demonology; Just as we publicly track sex offenders and liberals, we should all be made aware of any gateways to hell that may have sprung up near our homes. It's a basic human right. I hope that the website will quickly be expanded to include hauntings, demon posessions, and a google maps mashup.

Check your locale and know where dark portals are located! Review the four safety rules with your children. Plan safe routes, so they don't stumble into Hell on the way from school. Keep your local Slayer on speed dial. And pitch in, stay alert, and keep your digital cameras ready to document any new doors to the underworld.

Good luck my friends. Together, we can keep the hellmouth closed!

3 comments:

Celia Pleete said...

ROFLMAO

Tits McGee said...

That. Is. Genius.

Lois said...

You know, there are several suspicious-looking doorways around here, and now I think about it, they might just be entrances to hell! I'm sure the devil needs lots of them to get to and fro in his daily jaunts around the earth.