Theda-MAN!

"But I CAN act!" protested Friedrich. "I have studied all of the great films of Theda Bara. I can be just like her! I want to be in your picture!"
"But this isn't a vamp movie," insisted D.W. "It's a movie about bear hunters in the Kodiak region. Gold seekers. The 1890s Gold Rush. There aren't even any women's roles. Why on earth do you want so badly to be in a movie about rugged, gold-digging mountain men? Go over to Mister DeMille's office and see if he has a movie script about a harem princess or something."
Friedrich hung his head in despair. No, he REALLY wanted to be in the rugged mountain man movie. D.W. had no idea how badly he wanted it.
And so, he packed up his sequinned slippers and shuffled his way, slowly, to Mister DeMille.