Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Response To One Of Those "Bank Deposit For The Poor Foreigner" E-mails

Dear Man Willy,

Hmm. You ought to talk to my friend Abubaka Jiberin from Burkina Faso. He seems to have the same problem you do. Maybe you can start a co-op or an African Mafia. You guys must have it really rough in - where is it again? Oh, the Côte d-Ivoîre? Where the f*** is that, anyway? Are you one of those poaching countries? Goddamnit, SAVE THE RHINO!

It's funny you got my name from the Square One TV forum. I didn't even think you had Square One TV in Burkina Faso. Hell, I didn't even think you got TV there, period! Don't you live in grass huts or something? Boy, was I wrong! Wasn't that a great show? Remember that song, "Nine! Nine! Nine! Fantastic number nine, times any number you can find, it all comes back to nine!" Or Mathnet. I liked Kate Monday way better than Pat Tuesday.

Anyway....it seems people are dropping off in African plane crashes left and right! Sad.

He's a little more verbose than you are, though. Maybe when you get here you can take some English grammar lessons. In fact, I'd make it a priority! Also? When your ship lands at Ellis Island, you might want to consider a name change. I said the same thing to that Jibirin guy. There will be a lot of snickering in the locker room, otherwise. Might be uncomfortable for all. You do know what "man willy" is in English, right?

Here's his email: **********

I'll bet you have a lot to commiserate about!

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