Double Vision

Tom had always been kind of a loner, a loser with girls, a social pariah. His speech was awkward, his mannerisms forced, and his forehead sweated like a stuck pig when someone struck up a conversation with him. A stuttering problem added to the humiliation.
Aunt Beulah thought perhaps Tom needed a hobby. Birdwatching would be nice. Tom always liked the sound of twittering birds. Unfortunately, the birds Tom looked at with those binoculars didn't come with feathers.